Criticize my writing please?

It's good, but I skipped over the whole first paragraph. It is full of useless information. You described it a bit too much. Try showing, not telling. Are you a beginning writer? If so, read books about writing ,and how to improve it. How is Marie annoying? Have her do something, or just take the part out about Rudolph saying that she's annoying. The same with him saying that he's a normal teen. Use some actions to show that he is. :) hope I helped!