I know its long but please answer! are we over exagerating?

Do you even realize the enormous list you just wrote? There is only one person you can even attempt to control and that is you. Until you become a person who has the ability to care for someone without putting conditions on them, you will always see the issues they have as being huge and your issues as being oh so little. We all are way short of perfect. Having said that, it sounds to me like she is in pain over something or someone that hurt her. Typically people don't act irrational like what you described, unless they have something inside them that they have not bgeen able to deal with. Being her friend, I suggest you ask her to think if there are things that have happened to her that she is holding on to, inside her? Tell her that if she isn't sure, that she can think about it and if she realizes there is something, that you will make time for just you and her and you will listen. One more thing, humility is something that is lost in america today. But it is something that creates value in a person. To be humble means putting other people and thier needs ahead of your own. I know that probably sounds stupid. But think about it this way. The moments that trigger very fond thoughts towards another person is when they do something nice for you. When they show that they are thinking about you and your needs. If you want to become a person who has no "real" friends in life and by real, I mean ones that will not judge you when you are the one who did or said something stupid, or will be there for you, even if everyone else seems like they are against you. Well if you want fake friends then just put yourself as the one who is most important in your own mind and then go and act that way. But if you want lifelong "relationships", then they must be "built", they don't just happen out of nowhere. And the building blocks are those times when you are there for them, even if they don't really deserve it. Hey we can all act like a fool at times. If you judge her and sentence her to "life without you", then you are opening the door for people to do the same for you. When you establish the rules, life has a way of going by those same rules, when you least expect. Right when you really need someone, they will see your cause as a waste of thier time. Sorry if I was hard on ya at the beginning, and I know being young means you are learning. It is my hope that writting this question means you want real answers and not just a good reason to feel justified to blow off a friendship.